jesus christ it really is only tuesday night and i might as well fucking drive home now, because there really is no point in staying here the rest of the week.
im exaggerating really, but god it is real bad.
im not sure what it really is but there is a number of things it could be. (huh) it could be that i'm completely swamped with school work and for some reason i've no motivation to do any of it. i have a project due next week and its taking up all my time. my medsurg class is kicking my ass and it doesn't look like its going to stop any time soon. i really need a job, because i hate living out of my mom's wallet but there is really no fucking time to be working. i cannot afford to give up study time, but i guess i could stop going home every weekend. but really that is my only time to breathe and its times like these when i just want to go home and just be in the presence of my parents because it really is fucking lonely out here. i also dont know if its the weather, or the fact that i watch jon and kate plus 8 every day, so everytime its over i feel like i have no family. LOL. i'm really just frustrated with everything, and its pretty damn annoying.
because of things were going my way, i could go home every weekend, kick every class in the ass, have time to work (on top of that, enjoy my job), have adequate sleep every night and see my parents everyday. noone said this would be easy but i really just need to complain right now.
i just really want to be home right now, i really miss my parents &i just miss being 10 minutes away from everyone. because i still wake up in the morning forgetting that i'm in san diego. how bad is that? hopefully a year and a half of this bullshit.
i really don't hate it out here, i just hate that i don't have anyone.
it could also be the effects of idle mind. on my breaks between studying and driving from la to sd and from sd to la. the idle mind is really the devil's playground. it leads to real bad ideas and could be even worse when a girl is a couple days shy of montly meltdown.
in the last 2 minutes i think i've felt 987234 emotions, talk about manic depression severe acute mood swings.
maybe the effects of the mdma are finally coming down, or maybe its just menses around the corner. i think im going to start buying my own cigarettes again.
forgive my bluntness.
i need a blunt too.
1 comment:
me and v decided were gonna put our money together to buy jk8 s3. I was gonna keep it at my house, but you need it more. Start your countdown to saturday, and this time, were coming to you. so hannah, ENJOY YOSELF!!! And don't forget, onessas a friend too!!
Post a Comment